The short version:
1.) Kindly ask your wife to get in her car, and to follow you wherever you may lead her.
2.) Choose a nice, long road through the desert. Preferably one like this...
3.) Station your wife in comfortable surroundings replete with air-conditioning, golf course views, and really steep stairs. Ensure that she has proper rations and victuals to sustain her through the duration of her abandonment. Then...
4.) ...drive home as fast as you can, hoping she won't notice you've gone.
The longer version of this story is, of course, much more polished, detailed, and possibly even enthralling. It includes thought-provoking items such as horse carts, art museums of questionable repute, Ash Meadows Amargosa Pupfish, and Gila Monsters....yes, Gila Monsters.
The story however, does NOT include the World's Tallest Thermometer. It DOES include a "world-famous" thermometer which, while obnoxiously tall, just isn't tall enough to make the record books.
In order to be regaled with the complete tale with all these amazing details, PLUS the wayward traveler rescue in Death Valley, the nearly disastrous sparrow collision, strewn-field reconnaissance, cursing guitar-hero stars, spinning Civics, AND rather embarrassed novice rollerblading Sonic carhops...just call me. I'll tell you all about it. :-)
-Ben
P.S. So far the tooth to Pahrump resident ratio stands at 7:1. (Expect more precise results after research on subsequent visits.)
2.) Choose a nice, long road through the desert. Preferably one like this...
3.) Station your wife in comfortable surroundings replete with air-conditioning, golf course views, and really steep stairs. Ensure that she has proper rations and victuals to sustain her through the duration of her abandonment. Then...
4.) ...drive home as fast as you can, hoping she won't notice you've gone.
The longer version of this story is, of course, much more polished, detailed, and possibly even enthralling. It includes thought-provoking items such as horse carts, art museums of questionable repute, Ash Meadows Amargosa Pupfish, and Gila Monsters....yes, Gila Monsters.
The story however, does NOT include the World's Tallest Thermometer. It DOES include a "world-famous" thermometer which, while obnoxiously tall, just isn't tall enough to make the record books.
-Ben
P.S. So far the tooth to Pahrump resident ratio stands at 7:1. (Expect more precise results after research on subsequent visits.)
No comments:
Post a Comment